How to Prevent Your Emotional Insecurity

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The following is a guest post from Daniela McVicker.

Dealing with emotional insecurities can be absolutely debilitating.

Insecurities can prevent you from pursuing your career goals, seeking relationships with other people, or developing your talents.

Unfortunately, many people who do not deal with this issue truly don’t understand. Because of this, they give well-meaning, but ultimately unhelpful advice such as, ‘just be more confident’ or ‘believe in yourself’.

In addition to this, insecure people often do not receive support from the people around them because they often appear to be confident, sometimes even cocky.

This is due to the fact that many insecure people build a false persona that is confident in order to protect themselves. If you are insecure, and that is impacting your life in a negative way, here are 5 tips to help you attain true confidence.

1. Find a Trusted Person That You Can Check in With

If you are struggling with insecurities, it can be immensely beneficial to find somebody who can act as an emotional touchstone.

This should be a person with whom you can share your true thoughts and feelings, even if you project something entirely different to the rest of the world.

Ideally, this person will be a mentor, life coach, counselor, or other person who has your best interests in mind, and who can be completely honest with you.

It is usually not a good idea to seek out a friend or family member for this because it can cause relationship imbalances and put undue emotional burden on the other person. 

2. Figure Out Your True Strengths And Talents And Work on Them

Norman Vincent Peale said, “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy”.

There’s a false perception that people struggle with insecurity because they have rarely, or never, been praised or complimented.

For many insecure people, this is simply not true. They’ve just been complimented about the wrong things.

This is especially true with women who have spent their lives being praised for being pretty or nice, but not for their actual abilities.

If this is familiar, take some time to discover where your talents are, and how you can and have made a positive contribution to the world. Then, figure out how to build on those strengths.

When you do this, you will have secure and permanent things on which to build true self confidence.

3. Explore The Origins of Your Emotional Insecurity

It can be difficult to fix insecurity without understanding where that comes from.

Are your securities on going, and do the crop up in a variety of situations and circumstances?

Is insecurity something that is a new struggle for you? Is there a recent life change that has shaken your confidence and thrown you off balance?

What about a disturbing self-revelation that has upended your ability to believe in yourself?

If you know the cause or the potential cause of your insecurity you have a jumping off point that you can use in your efforts to help yourself.

4. Spend Time With People Who Make You Feel Confident For The Right Reasons

Think about the people that you spend time with. How do they make you feel? Do you feel positive and energized after spending time with them?

Think of the nice things that they say to you. Are they focused on your abilities or on your physical traits?

If you asked them, would they be able to give you a specific compliment on your talents or character, or would their answer be vague or self-serving.

For example, if somebody tells you that you always find the right thing to say when somebody is feeling down, that is a specific compliment that involves both your character (kindness) and a talent (uplifting people who feel bad).

On the other hand, if they simply say you are nice, that’s vague and could be applied to most people.

None of this is to suggest that your peer group needs to be a constant source of praise and compliments. However, you should make an effort to spend time with people who know you well enough and care about you enough to recognize your positive traits.

5. Gently Identify Where You Need Work

One thing that is often missed in the ‘self-esteem industry’ is the fact that all people have flaws and things about themselves that they need to improve and change.

This doesn’t mean that you should beat yourself up over all of your flaws.

It simply means that you should be honest with yourself and identify where you need to make changes. Then, start making slow and sure effort to make those changes.

This way, your flaws cease being a reason for your insecurity, and become a reason for you to feel good about yourself because you know you are working on yourself.

Authors Bio

Daniela McVicker is a successful writer and psychologist, she knows how to manage her life. Currently works as content writer for SmartPaperHelp and writes a book on psychology about what impact culture has on mental behavior of people in different countries.

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